My Big Girl Rory

I haven't done a post about JUST Rory in a long time
and i think it's overdue ;)

My baby girl is not even close to a baby anymore.
She turns 3 this year. 
She is ALL personality.
Full of sass and love.

She's so tenderhearted.
She's been very into The Lorax lately
and as such when she sees any landscaping with trees getting trimmed
she yells "I speak for the trees!"
it's hilarious and slightly embarrassing to try to explain haha
She also asks to watch Howl's Moving Castle
at least once a day,
and since it's one of my favorites, I usually oblige.
She's such an unusual girl in movie choices.
But that just proves she's my kid ;)
She may LOOK just like a Mills,
but there's a little bit of Bowler in there too ;)
She's the biggest helper and loves to be my sidekick
pretty much everywhere.
She also is VERY independent.
"How abut I do it?"
"No Mama I do it, I'm a big girl".
"Mama I help you please?"
"May I please get a cookie for Jadey?"
which is super helpful except for the whole Jade's too little for cookies part haha
but she always thinks of her little sister and how to make things better for her.
It's one of the many many things I love about her.
Her huge heart makes mine swell with pride.
Some of her favorite sayings are:
- "Jadey what's the deal??"
(both in seriousness when Jade's crying and just for fun when they're playing)
- "Mama/Daddy do you want to {insert action for her here}??"
and that's usually accompanied by a kiss and hug to get what she wants ;)
- "Mama you my best friend. and Jadey. And Daddy. And grandma.
And {insert every name she knows here}".
- "I'm NOT baby, I'm a BIG GIRL"
if I ever call her baby hahaha
 - "You so fine baby girl. Jadey you ok. I love you sister.
Here's you toy."
Pretty much whenever Jade is having a fit

Wish time could stop and yet I love watching her grow up.
Looking at Jade reminds me how Rory used to be.
And how exciting, though extremely challenging, the future will be.
The other night when I was putting Rory to bed,
she climbed onto my lap like normal,
asked for a snuggle like normal,
but then asked me to "lay down and rock" her.
As in, lean back in the rocker and rock her.
So I did and she snuggled in close to me ad went limp just like she used to as a baby.
I had a true sad sad moment right there realizing that my baby
wasn't a baby anymore.
BUT knowing that she still wants her mom to snuggle her
and will, on rare occasions,
give me huge smiles and reminders of her babyhood.

And yes, she is a HUGE challenge as well because she's 2,
but I want to remember all of the good and try to forget the tantrums
and sass and remember the sweet hugs, "I love you Mama"s and kisses.

If you need me,
I'll be over here on the floor in a puddle of melted heart ;)


So Andrew and I got away this weekend
to Sedona,
just the two of us.
And let me tell you, it was much needed,
and much appreciated of my parents to take the kids for the weekend.
We had such a fun time reconnecting as a couple,
playing board games and talking over future plans.
So many things we're looking forward to doing later in our lives ;)
And now, the pictures.

I was obsessed with the landscape
and couldn't help taking a bazillion pictures of it hahaha
our hotel room had the best view,
we played Skip Bo for Andrew's first time and he caught on way too fast
hahaha he beat me like every time we played after the first time ;)
We're hoping to make this a more often happening,
like a every other year or something.
We needed this time away to remember that we weren't always parents.
And that we need to put our marriage as much at the top
as we do the kids.
It was a wonderful time and I'm so glad I got it for Andrew for Christmas ;) 

New year, new me, better days ahead!

So remember how I mentioned reality is a huge
obstacle and I'm having some issues dealing with it?
Yeah Thursday was one of those days when I felt like I was drowning.
There was screaming, tantrums, lack of sleep from the night before,
Aunt Flo showed her ugly face, and by 10 in the morning,
I was ready to give up on motherhood and just sink into bed.
But I couldn't do it.
I knew these little monsters girls needed their mama and I HAD to get it together,
so after a nice healthy ugly cry and breakdown,
I pushed through til Andrew made it home.
Then I crashed hard and he took over
and let me just do something I needed/wanted to do.
What was funny was that it actually ended up being cleaning the kitchen.
Like CLEANING the kitchen.
Clorox wipes, scrubbing, sweeping, re-organizing, and just having control over something.
I felt like I was drowning.
A swirl of emotions was going through me and I couldn't stop them.
I am usually pretty level headed and this scared me,
that I couldn't control the outpouring of crazy.
I called Andrew at work which I never do,
and just cried at him on the phone and he was very patient,
told me I'd be fine and to just shut myself away for a few minutes.
So I did and had my breakdown.
Later, Rory refused to take a nap.
and ended up falling asleep facedown in her chair with a foot on the ottoman.
Not tired eh?
But it had been a 2 hour struggle.
Now before you say "Maybe she's too old for naps", etc.
She STILL FALLS ASLEEP so clearly she's still tired enough to need naps.
She's just a stubborn toddler.
But dealing with her constantly yelling at me and back talking
just whittled at me.
By the time Andrew got home,
I didn't have energy to feel anything anymore.
I was on auto pilot.
I bathed Jade, fed her, changed her, fed Rory, bathed her, etc.
And just did it.
I felt nothing.
Again, it was scary to me.
After a couple hours of that serious cleaning of the kitchen,
I realized I've turned into a slight control freak.
I need control over something.
And I had control over nothing that day.
Yes, I know this is motherhood.
But i honestly had no idea how hard this would turn with two.
I love my littles so much and I'm happy to be with them at home,
and I understand I'm lucky enough to do so.
I also understand how happy they make me,
and how one smile from them can usually make it all better.
There are days that it doesn't,
and that's normal too.
So this year for MY resolution,
my biggest one to is get myself more organized.
Cuz I feel that if I have things written down,
planned out,
and in the same place all the time,
creating a habit of being a better organizer,
then the chaos that comes won't effect me nearly as bad.
I'm also planning on doing way more things for myself to find myself again.
I need to find my identity again after 2 kids hahaha
And I won't feel like I'm drowning all the time.
So here's to new years,
new goals,
hope and dreams for the year,
and BRING IT ON! ;)

Year in Review 2014!

Another year has gone by!
And holy cow it went fast!
I love doing these year in review posts!
I love seeing how much has changed in just 12 months.
We went to the Gilbert Temple Open House
 Rory loved seeing all the pretty lights and crystals
and every time we drive by it she shouts
"Mama it's da demple!!"
 We announced that we were going to be adding to our little family,
I got called into Activity Days and the 10/11 girls teacher in our ward,
Andrew got called to be a ward missionary. 
Rory hated taking this picture haha
she had just seen the baby on the ultrasound and just kept wanting to see
it move around in there and listen to the heartbeat.
Rory got her big girl bed and officially moved out of the crib
and we found out we would be having another sweet baby girl
There was a lot going on in that month haha
lots of big changes and excitement!
I went to the Blogger Meetup
and my nesting instinct had kicked into full gear hahaha 
oh and Easter of course!

Hahahaha so many preggos in that picture!!
And my cabinets still aren't clean but that's ok,
and Rory still talks about the swings and wants them so bad!
Maybe next year for Christmas kid....
or we'll just go to the park haha
Celebrated Mother's Day,
Rory's first As You Wish trip,
and her first Diamondbacks Game

She points to her flower with pride on the fridge
(I had them make it into a magnet)
and she's made 2 more things since then haha
I still haven't finished all that chocolate ;)
Be proud people!
Rory turned 2!
Andrew turned 25!
We took a trip to San Diego with my in-laws
including the San Diego Zoo!
And geared up to be ready for Jade to appear in 2 months!
Andrew still loves his grill
and Rory is still just as sassy hahaha
As You Wish for 4th of July
I opened my Etsy shop
and I had a slight meltdown about having another baby

It all worked out though didn't it? ;)
And Rory is obsessed with her horse she made that day.
I had a bunch of amazing guest posters while we waited for
Jade to make her arrival
and then she did!
Andrew got a new job with Apex Electrical Sales
and we are forever grateful for that.
Best month ever!
Became a mother of two
and watched Rory become a big sister 
and Andrew be a brand new dad all over again.
We adjusted to life with two little ones
and took a family field trip to the aquarium!

So fun!
And absolutely insane!
I turned 26,
we went to Disneyland with my family,
and a birthday week of giveaways!

The magic of Disneyland experienced through Rory 
just brought me to tears on multiple occasions.
My birthday was a little lackluster BUT I got snuggles from both my girls
and Andrew took me to dinner that night which was nice hahaha
Rory got even more into her role as big sister,
Jade was blessed in church,
and we put the tree up over a month early.
Also got our family pictures taken! 

It was the beginning of the crazy but the fun of the season ;)
Andrew and I celebrated 4 years of marriage,
Christmas was amazing,
Haley came home from her mission,
Liam turned one
and we just learned to enjoy the moment.
What a year!!
I can't wait to see what's in store for the next one!
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